Falling in love: the essentials

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    Yesterday, I started writing on what I saw about my wife and what she saw about me that made us come together in marriage and which has been some of the connecting factors over the years.

    Yesterday, I wrote about two things:
    The peace of God
    The fear of God

    Today, I will continue on that.

    3. Attraction factor
    Were we attracted to each other? Yes, and certainly!  A lot of deeply spiritual folk will tell you that attraction doesn't matter, but I am telling you right now, it matters.

    Marriage is truly made in heaven, but it is lived here on earth. You can receive your spouse from heaven, but both of you will eventually tabernacle here on planet earth!

    After marriage, all other people will not suddenly become ugly. That is why people who have no fear of God still go into extra-marital relationships.

    I have had to counsel people who are in relationship and would say they didn't really like their partner but since God said he or she is the one. You see, something is obviously missing here. God is not an author of confusion, and He would not lead you to somebody you dislike forever.

    Yes, it is possible you do not resonate with a particular person God leads you to when you are busy looking elsewhere, but the moment you embrace God’s plan, you will indeed love the person.
    But there would never be a situation where God forces you to marry somebody you don't like or somebody you hate.

    A situation where you get depressed over how your spouse looks three days after wedding needs not happen!

    You won’t believe that the reason a lot of people are scared about asking God for who to marry is because they don’t want God to lead them to somebody they will hate. God is intelligent, much more intelligent than all the intelligence of the entire brains of human race combined!

    It is only God that knows the person who will be attracted to you and you will be attracted to, not just today, but also in some ten and twenty year’s time. People change over time.

    Beyond physical attraction therefore, there must be inner attraction. Beyond the fact that she is thin or slim or lepacious, you must love her because over time, a lepacious woman can become orobo! The figure eight can fast become figure football! What happens after that?

    The reality you must accept is that your spouse will not look the same after twenty or thirty years of marriage. Attraction then must be deeper than physical appearance because appearance do change over time!

    For me, I have remained slim like I used to be, I only added a little and my tummy has been trying to come out, but I have been casting out all the calorie. My wife is more rounded, but she has been trying to lay aside the weight as well.

    As married couples, do not look on when you see the weight is travelling to where you don't want to camp. Follow her to the gym if you have to. Take precautions. Do not eat late. Reduce taking “swallow” if you have to! Stay with each other and walk the walk together.

    4. Accountability
    The next thing about falling in love is accountability. Even though, our pastor was a student then, we still remained accountable. Before I asked my wife out, I informed our fellowship pastor and he encouraged me! Thank God he was interested in somebody else and not in the same person, otherwise member and pastor would have fought! Imagine after all the visions and encounter I have heard and he now tells me I am out of God’s will? May God not send you to a person who will talk you out of God’s plan for your life. May people’s dream have been killed by the people they trusted. Mephibosheth was entrusted to his nurse, but the nurse “dropped” him and he became lame!

    Accountability is a spiritual exercise that protects your relationship. When you are accountable, it helps you to be cautious and to consciously stay away from jeru trap. It also helps you to report each other or even report yourself.

    Most sexual sins are perpetuated when your relationship is shrouded in secret. The moment one party is saying you should not tell anybody, then something is wrong somewhere.

    After wedding, accountability continues. It is a powerful principle you shouldn't joke with. The couple should agree on who will be a mentor over them. In marriage, when there are issues, it is wrong to pick your phones and report each other to parents or friends. When you do that, the situation will aggravate. Parents will be biased towards their children, friends will also be biased. You need somebody who has nothing to lose, is not biased and is ready to be truthful to the two of you.

    As couples, do you have somebody you can call on phone when there are issues behind you? I do that for a lot of couples around the world, and situations that have degenerated into serious issues for days are often resolved in minutes, not so much because I know so much, but because of the grace of God upon my life.

    As I conclude, I have discovered that if a couple can do these three things, all other issues are just minor.
    These three things are

    1. Stay away from cheating and unfaithfulness
    2. Forgive each other quickly and stay accountable
    3. Pray together regularly

    I pray that God will grant more understanding.

    Be a part of this great move of God! Be a Partner Today. We pray for our Partners Daily! Touch a life by supporting the KHC Vision with your Seed/Tithe! Click HERE to do so.

    I am not confused. I have God's wisdom

    Lord, lead me into your plan for my life

    "He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [ uprightness and right standing with Him—not for my earning it, but ] for His name's sake."  (Psa 23:3, AMP)

    Register for Camp-Meeting 2015 and secure your accommodation and feeding. If proximity will not allow you, be part of it with your seed. The same grace will reach you where you are.

    Lamentations 1; Lamentations 2; Lamentations 3:1-36



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