Why are we so different from each other?

  • Why are we so different from each other?

    We started looking at this topic yesterday on why you and your spouse or spouse-to-be will always see things differently. We will continue today.

    2. Male versus female
    The male-female differences are not only physiological or physical, there are also innate differences and psychological variations which reflects in thought patterns and styles, opinions, and conclusions.

    You have to acknowledge these differences that erupts as a result of male-female dispositions or else, you will keep getting angry over many things.

    Men are a little bit quicker and “rougher” than ladies. Ladies have finesse. Give a loaf of bread to a man and a a lady and watch how they remove the nylons! Give them an orange each and see how one sucks out the juice gently land how the other devours the juice and what holds the juice!

    It will be a serious mistake when a guy in relationship wants his fiancee to think and act exactly the same way he does.

    You know I made this mistake when we started courting back then on campus in 1996? She was just too slow for me and I kept lecturing her why she must be quick and fast and all that until I read the book by La’Hayes and then I saw my errors!

    You are meant to be different from each other! It is a deliberate wisdom of God to create a balance in your family eventually.

    However, this male-female differences are never an excuse to condone bad habits in your life and then blame them on the fact that you were created male or female.

    You can’t get so lazy and then say it is because you are a female. You can’t become violent dishing out slaps to all and sundry and then say it is the male in you!

    It is important that this balance is established.

    In marriage, you will discover that one of you is more of a giver than the other! Yes, both of you may have a giving spirit, but one of you will be more of a giver. It is deliberate, because if the two of you are extreme givers, one day, you will jointly sow your children out to couples who are waiting. Conversely, if both of you are selfish, you will not get blessed since life is a cycle of seed time and harvest. If both of you never pay tithe, things get tight quickly. But there will be one that will always be reminding the other who easily forgets, until both understand these principles.

    One of you will be a fast “decider” and the other will be slow. There are times you need to decide fast, so the fast “decider” will literally pull the other along. There are times you are too hasty in your decision process and the slow “decider” will pull the other back!

    It is all in God’s wisdom to strike a balance. You see, His strengths covers for your weaknesses and her strengths hide your own weaknesses.

    Uniqueness must be celebrated within the relationship or marriage while you both work at minimising each other’s weaknesses.

    That is the wisdom in handling a relationship and jointly working together as a family!

    When you are discussing, and she has a different opinion, she is not challenging your authority, she is just being herself! But then the lady should be cautious on how you present your opinions, because men can be sensitive and get egotistical quickly.

    As you grow in your relationship and marriage, stay in God’s word from where wisdom comes to help you live pragmatically. In the books of Proverbs alone, you have more than enough practical wisdom and advice on how to live successfully.

    Be prayerful as well, for we are not ignorant of the devices of the devil. Not all quarrels are as a result of male-female differences. There are orchestrated attacks from hell to destabilise relationships and marriages, targeting your togetherness in other to render prayers ineffective. In such moments, forgive quickly, so that you can have the maximum result there is.

    Ladies, stop nursing hurts for days. Men, quit being in prolonged strife. Don’t you notice it is when you want to do something great where you need God that strife and hurts show up? Be wise, and let go quickly. When one is deeply hurt like this, the other should lift up prayers unto God.

    Do you know what I have discovered? If you are genuinely passionate about each other and you really love each other, you will seek to please each other and you will seek to forgive quickly. You will seek to go a mile longer for each other in pleasing each other and I tell you this is what marriage is about. The first order is to please God, and then please each other. Put that in your mind and let it define your action, even when it is not convenient, and most times, it won't, so just go ahead and please him or her!

    You know what he likes most is fried plantain and then you go to the market and buy all things bright and beautiful except plantain? You are not pleasing him like that! You know she likes a particular thing, and yet you never get it for her? You are not pleasing her. Seek to please each other!

    When you are more ready to please your friends or visitors than your spouse, you are being seriously careless and foolish, you are lighting your home in a fire you may not be able to put out! Be careful.

    Focus on each other, and stop wasting your time, energy and emotions on some other person you think is better than your spouse. Stop dancing where angels fear to tread! Believers do not really go into adultery but they find themselves there. How? It starts with emotional experiments, you are doing it and you are enjoying it, after all nobody knows….but God knows! Be careful in those areas by simply focusing on your spouse.

    The Bible says men should focus and be satisfied with the wife of their youth. It says nothing really to women, because it is unnatural and almost demonic for a woman not to focus on her husband, hence the scripture calls such women strange women because it is strange!

    We will continue from here tomorrow.

    I am wise. I am helped of God

    Lord, teach me to be patient

    "Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose— don't ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!"  (Pro 5:18-19, MSG)

    Register for Camp-Meeting 2015 and secure your accommodation and feeding. If proximity will not allow you, be part of it with your seed. The same grace will reach you where you are.

    Luke 1; John 1:1-14


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