Help Pastor! Is this Love Language or Greed?

  • We all know there are five love languages.
    Love languages are like passwords. Your lover's love language is the password into her heart.
    The five love languages include:
    1. Acts of Service
    2. Quality Time
    3. Physical Touch
    4. Words of Affirmation
    5. Gifts
    The concept of love languages says that until you speak your lover's love language, he or she doesn't feel loved.
    If your fiancé/fiancée/spouse’s love language is gifts, what it means is that until you start appreciating him or her with gifts in a consistent manner, he or she will not feel loved.
    Now the big question.
    How do you know if someone is not just being greedy? How do you separate love language from plain greed.
    Let's see some indicators.
    1. He or she will not always demand for gifts in a do or die manner.
    2. When you are in a relationship, and no gifts are forthcoming, there may be an issue there because love gives. What if he or she has no money or has no job? Like I said, a gift is a gift and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Writing her a poem is a gift! Buying him one tiny little chocolate is a gift! What is important is not the gift itself, it is the gesture that brings an assurance of being loved and cared for. When you are able to give gifts in the midst of not too much of provision, you will also be able to do so when you eventually have more income. Your giving spirit is more of an attitude than availability.
    3. He or she will not back out just because gifts are not forthcoming. Love is patient. She will not break the relationship because you are not financially buoyant.
    4. He or she will not just be receiver. He will not just be demanding while he folds his arms and never gives back. Love gives.
    5. He or she will give away gifts too because that is the language he understands and that is what he craves for. He would want to give back gifts as well.
    6. When a lady gives out her body for money, that is not about love language because what she gets is no longer ‘gifts’ it has become payment for her services rendered and that is not God’s order.
    Love language is different from sin language!
    7. As married couples, the idea is not to disconnect or quarrel with your spouse if he or she is not speaking your language. You can lovingly discuss with your spouse what makes you happy. You can also reach out and buy him or her gifts and then your spouse does the same in return.
    8. As married couples, acts of service and gifts are intertwined. This is because you can give your time, encouragement, empathy, show your love to her in the kitchen and give her some of your time, watch a football match with him when you will rather be having a nap.
    9. Some single ladies have different guys for different purposes. Some to buy them phones and tabs, some to pay their rent, some to load their phones, some to buy them air tickets, some to load them with cash….well this is not about love language, it is more of trying to eat your cake and have it. It is more of greed and covetousness. It is more of being caught in the web of deceitfulness of riches. It is not consistent with God’s principles and this will rather slow you down in your journey to a good marriage.
    10. In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries. Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone. Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking!
    Don't try to use gifts and cash to get someone's consent for marriage because at the end, you will not be sure whether her consent is for who you are of what you have.
    I pray that God will enlighten you more and give you understanding.

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    I will seek to understand my fiancé/fiancee/spouse's love language - See more at: file:///Users/revdunamis/Desktop/Devotionals/When%20you%20are%20in%20love%20with%20the%20one%20whose%20love%20language%20is%20gifts%20-%20Daily%20Devotionals%20-%20Kisses%20and%20Huggs%20Club.html#sthash.GILhvNy3.dpuf
    I will seek to understand my fiancé/fiancee/spouse's love language

    Ask God to help you in your relationship/marriage

    Genesis 11:6 KJV
    And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do:and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.


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