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    Posted by Pastor Dunamis Okunowo January 22, 2015

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Avoiding Comparison Traps in Relationships, Marriage and Life


  • The past weekend was awesome as SGC had her first year anniversary and inauguration. It is a season of Great Grace for us!
     
    Blessed be the name of the Lord!
     
    Today I want to write to us on a particular trap of the devil that you must avoid.
     
    For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV)
     
    There is no iota of wisdom in comparing yourself on any level. In life, you need to understand that you are not competing with anybody; you are only competing with yourself!
     
    How do you know you are trapped in comparison trap as the initiator or the victim?
     
    1. Do not compare your new relationship with that of your ex
     
    
This can end a promising relationship quickly or bring unnecessary frictions into a marriage. Let your ex be!
     
    Never allow your ex to become an executive in your next relationship! Click To Tweet
     
    Move on into the new that God has given you and stop looking back all the time.
     
    Nobody can drive forward by looking at the rear mirror all the time. There will be a marital accident like that.
     
    Comparison trap can put your spouse or spouse-to-be under unnecessary pressures in trying to live up to your expectations.
     
    This way, you end up losing your identity and personality and whittle yourself away in your bid to become like another person.
     
    You cannot live all your life trying to keep up with someone or trying to look like one person. You will sap yourself of precious energy and you can’t have focus like that! It is not a wise decision.
     
    2. Love yourself and love your lover/spouse
     
    At the root of perpetual comparison trap is the fact that you don’t really love yourself. Learn to appreciate yourself as God’s gift to this generation and stop dwelling on what you don’t have or what you can’t do.
     
    When a lady doesn’t love herself, it can lead into a myriad of other problems and issues. The lady, if not careful can end up sleeping with any available person trying to search for her identity, looking for love and somebody to affirm her. Sadly, the more she searches in the wrong places, the more elusive that which she desperately wants becomes.
     
    Also, when you are married to a spouse you don’t love, maybe you are attracted because of money, at the end of the day, you will get tired of the money because there is a need in every person to love and to be loved genuinely.
     
    When you love money more than yourself and it influences your decisions, at the expense of God’s direction, that is what the scripture refers to as the root of all evils. Click To Tweet
     
    3. Don't be jealous of others’ achievements.

     
    When you go green with envy or jealousy all the time at others’ achievements, it is a bad attitude you need to deal with.
     
    The Bible says you should rejoice with those that rejoice. When you have a spiritual understanding that one man’s testimony is another man’s prophecy, you will cease in getting jealous at others.
     
    4. Don't be intimidated of your subordinates’ achievements

     
    When you keep comparing yourself with your subordinates, it is a deep self esteem issue and if you don’t deal with it, it will soon become obvious and your intimidation will soon pitch you against them and you might lose them one by one.
     
    You might succeed in hiding it for a while, but like smoke, it will soon become visible. Not a few organisations and ministries have lost their most promising and gifted men because the set man cannot handle intimidation.
     
    A man that is secured and not intimidated is a blessed man. Your helper of destiny is not always somebody above you, he can just be a subordinate and a lot of insecure men have frittered their helpers away!
     
    5. Don't look at others to see what new thing to do, rather seek God’s face
.
     
    You ought to get direction from God, and not from what somebody is doing or not doing.
     
    You need to learn to be secured in God.
     
    You don’t get married because your friends are getting married. Click To Tweet
     
    You don’t jump into any available relationship, irrespective of the man’s spiritual standing just because all your friends are in a relationship.
     
    Allow God to lead you in your season.
     
    I will stop here this morning.
     
    I pray that this new month will yield its increase unto you in Jesus name! Be blessed today and have a fruitful week ahead of you!
     
    We love you!

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    CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
    I will not fall into comparison trap

    PRAYER FOR THE DAY

    Lord, establish me in my season

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    Isaiah 58:8 (MSG)  
    Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The GOD of glory will secure your passage.
     
    ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
    Sow a seed to KHC Here.

    READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
    Judges 8 - 9

    Pastor Dunamis - +234 802 350 7395

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