Finding Who To Marry Between A Protégée and Her Mentor

  • Angie is a single lady of twenty-nine while Betty is married woman of about thirty seven years of age. Angie visits Betty who is her mentor.

    Angie: Hullo Auntie

    Betty: How are you Angie?

    Angie: I am fine

    Betty: No, you are not fine. Why is your face like this? (Looking at her intently)

    Angie: That is how my face is Auntie; I like frowning.

    Betty: No, that is not your face, something is definitely wrong.

    Angie: Ok, Auntie, if I tell you, se you will not laugh at me?

    Betty: No, trust me now?

    Angie: Ok, Auntie, na husband wahala o! (It is the issue of marriage)

    Betty: (laughing)

    Angie: You promised you won’t laugh o

    Betty: Ok…but seriously, is that the only issue?

    Angie: Yes now, Auntie, abi I will not marry ni? (Or won’t I marry?)

    Betty: But this frown on your face doesn’t solve it

    Angie: It is not easy, I am just depressed about it all

    Betty: This your face, if I am the man and I see this face, honestly I will take off

    Angie: What happened to my face?

    Betty: Take a look at the mirror

    Angie: Auntie, it is not that bad, it is just the way I feel

    Betty: You don’t get it. You want a husband, and now you put up an attitude that will discourage the exact you thing you are looking for.
    Can’t you see that the purpose is defeated?

    Angie: It is not easy, and that is how I feel

    Betty: You cannot live by your feelings, feelings are fickle, and they don’t represent well. You have to learn to trust God that He will not disappoint you. Click to Tweet

    Angie: I trust God, I am even praying and fasting

    Betty: I disagree with you on that

    Angie: But God knows I trust him o...God looks in the heart, not my face.

    Betty: You are not reading your Bible well. It says, a merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance. In order words, when you trust God, your heart will be merry because you know God will do it. If your heart is merry, it will show on your face! Shikena! (Period!)

    Angie: So my face is driving men away?

    Betty: Yes, men are moved by sight firstly before they are moved by your heart. The moment you turn your beautiful face to that of a masquerade, like every problem in the world is on you, guys don’t wait to confirm what is in your heart before they take off.

    Angie: But some are still interested in me like this

    Betty: So why are you not married?

    Angie: I wonder o…

    Betty: You don’t need to go to wonderland; did you not say the other time that all the people that come your way are asking for sex?

    Angie: Yes

    Betty: Because they are not ready for commitment, all they want is fun, so they don’t mind the way you look as long their lust is satisfied.

    Angie: Many of them like that

    Betty: And that is how you also delay yourself

    Angie: How, Auntie?

    Betty: By consenting to give them what they ask for, you think you are securing them, but in essence, they will never marry you like that.

    Angie: Why are men so wicked?

    Betty: It is not about being wicked, it is because they don’t have fear of God.

    Angie: Na the same thing joor! (It is the same thing)

    Betty: Guys that don’t have the fear of God will try and persuade you to compromise with them, and when you do, they eventually won’t marry you. Click to Tweet

    Angie: Why would they do that?

    Betty: Because guys are logical. When you easily compromise, they are wondering how many men you are doing that with. They will eventually go for a lady that they perceive as ‘good girl.’ They can even go to church to look for one, but that is also a mistake on their part.

    Angie: God punish them!

    Betty: Why curse now? You see, guys who don’t have a relationship with God are able to identify very needy ladies and those with low self-esteem. So they capitalize on that, use them and dump them, and eventually go and marry those they think are more confident.

    Angie: My God!

    Betty: That is why you must make up your mind never to compromise because of some pressures. Click to Tweet

    Angie: I am trying.

    Betty: Trying is not what God says. You must make up your mind. Do you want God’s plan concerning marriage to be a reality in your life?

    Angie: Yes o

    Betty: Then you must stop compromising. You cannot eat your cake and have it.

    Angie: Auntie, I can’t wait to get married. All my problems will fly away.

    Betty: There you go again. Marriage will not solve problems. In fact, if you are unprepared, it brings more problems. Click to Tweet

    Angie: Not if we really love ourselves

    Betty: Loving yourselves does not eliminate quarrels and offences. It just helps you to handle them the right way.

    Angie: Auntie, what do you quarrel about?

    Betty: (Smiles) Our first quarrel was during our honeymoon. There was moon, but no honey.

    Angie: What did Uncle do? Auntie, you must be tough.

    Betty: He left me alone during our honeymoon and started working on his laptop. He just ignored me. I was angry. Our last quarrel was three days ago. But in all of that, you know what, we forgive each other quickly and move on, because if we don’t, there won’t be a marriage.

    Angie: This marriage thing…

    Betty: Ok, remain single now?

    Angie: I want to marry o…

    Betty: Then start working on yourself. Marriage is made up of two real people with their different opinions and perspectives, and if it must last, they must be quick forgivers.

    Angie: I have problem with forgiving people. I am usually deeply hurt.

    Betty: Anybody can be hurt, but love is supposed to cover a multitude of mistakes. You have to learn that, if you are going to have a good marriage.

    Angie: Must I be the one that will be forgiving all the time? Won’t that crush my esteem?

    Betty: Which is why you don’t want to marry just anybody because of pressures. You want to marry someone you know that both of you are on the same page in terms of beliefs, serving God and loving God

    Angie: God help me

    Betty: When you marry a man that really fear God, it becomes much more easier.

    Angie: God, give me a man that loves you

    Betty: Wrong prayer

    Angie: Eeeeeh! …so what is the right prayer?

    Betty: Lord, make me a woman that loves you.

    Angie: Ok, Auntie…thank you so much

    Betty: You are welcome.

    Angie: I have to go now, to think about all you’ve said and see how to apply them.

    Betty: Ok, my dear. Always remember that God has a plan for you and that staying close to Him helps you to actualize that plan.

    Angie: God will help me.

    Betty: You must help yourself first…by your obedience…that will now unlock His help and blessings. Click to Tweet

    Angie: I hear! I need to go and call this man that want to sleep in my house tonight. I want to tell him not to bother. We are not married! I want to do it God’s way and I don’t want to delay myself again.

    Betty: Good girl!

    Angie: Bye, Auntie.

    Betty: Bye, I will see you later.

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