What Is It That She Really Wants?

  • Here are some tips on how you can express your love to your wife.

    1. Say ‘I love you’ often.

    Married Couples - You wouldn’t imagine how important this is to women. They want to hear it all the time! A man wonders why he should keep saying that because he is logical.

    A woman thinks if you don’t say it often, with emotion, eyeball to eyeball, you don’t really love her! Click To Tweet

    Singles – It is okay to express your love to your fiancée but you must not allow verbal expression to lead to physical
aggression. You sure know what I am talking about!

    2. Tell her she is beautiful.
Women have issues with their bodies especially after giving birth. She worries about her shape, her belly, her face and more. It goes a long way when you tell her and keep telling her that she is beautiful. I say this to my wife all the time and she would still blush and smile like she is hearing that for the first time.

    If your fiancé or husband never says that to you, ask him directly how you look in a dress.

    Singles - Ladies who are not yet in a relationship, understand that you will not appear beautiful to everybody. If somebody says you are ugly, that is personal opinion. You will be beautiful to your spouse!

    The scripture says you are ‘fearfully’ and ‘wonderfully’ made. So it is okay to be ‘fearful’ to some people. Beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When your spouse sees you, you will be the most beautiful woman on earth. So stop worrying yourself unnecessarily.

    3. Appreciate the food she cooks, she will do better.

    Married Couples - Make a good comment. If she cooks well, don’t tap your tummy, tap her instead and even go ahead to give her hug. Tell her she is a great cook. Click To Tweet

    Singles – It is not time to go and sleep over in your fiancé’s house and be cooking and washing singlet and boxers! That is not the purpose of courtship.

    4. Listen to her when she talks, give her attention, and don’t ignore her presence.

    This is very important to both singles and married couples. It is important you listen well. In Japan, women pay listeners per hour to just listen to them talk. If a woman finds a listener in her colleague, an emotional affair is knocking on the door. Ever wondered how respectable women end up sleeping with their cooks or drivers?

    They were neglected by their husbands and they found a companion elsewhere! Click To Tweet

    The highest form of listening is empathic listening and this is what your wife requires. It involves a husband putting himself in her shoes as he listens with compassion. Give her your time and attention. Don’t let her compete with laptops, blackberries, ipods, ipads and other ‘toys’

    5. Hold her close to your chest, place your hands on her head and bless her always.

    Married Couples
    - That is what a good husband should do! As a wife, encourage your husband to bless you always and vice-versa. You don’t have to be pastors to do that.

    Singles – Avoid praying together in the night. Don’t trap yourself. You are praying together in the night in his room and electricity fails and you are still looking for a candle? That is the time to escape for your life. It is not about the fact that he is a Christian or the prayer leader; it is about the fact that he is a man and he is human.

    All those prayers you do while you are wearing something seductive, you are finishing the guy slowly. His eyes are red, the tongues are changing and you think it is the anointing? No, the guy is on fire! And the bible says you cannot carry fire in your bosom and not be burnt!

    6. Help her in the kitchen

    This will be very important to your wife especially if her love language is ‘Acts of Service.’

    7. Praise her publicly.
    Let everybody know how wonderful your wife is
Be proud of her. Stop eyeing somebody else’s wife! It is too late. And as a wife too, stop eyeing somebody else’s husband! You will end up falling into comparison traps and that can even affect you while on bed!

    You might just find out you are no longer enjoying making love with your spouse until you imagine a certain somebody whose image has been tattooed into your brain as a result of eyeing and imagining about the person severally. Be careful as this may impact on your marriage as it is as valid as being adulterous.

    Remember the mind is the seat of all actions? And when God looks at you, he looks into your heart.

    You sure don’t want God to look at you and meet some deceit in your heart. You sure want all your prayers answered. What is the way out? Concentrate on your spouse and talk about the issue with your spouse or pray about it sincerely if your spouse wouldn't be able to handle it. Once you say it out, you have destroyed its power. Marriage is a covenant and it should be protected.

    Appreciate your own spouse and none other.

    8. Give her gifts, no matter how small

    She likes that a lot. However the gift may not make any meaning to her if she has been hurt severally.

    9. Never shut her up or shout on her, correct in love

    God used the finest bones by the sides of a man in creating a woman to indicate that he wants your wife by your side!

    God didn't use the bones by the feet because your wife is not your doormat, whose emotions and person is to be trampled upon! Click To Tweet

    10. Forgive her quickly
Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. Not forgiving her can block your prayers. So says the scripture!

    11. Major on her good points, overlook her mistakes.

    That is the way to go if you want your courtship or marriage to last.

    12. Play with her regularly

    13. Never abuse her or disrespect her in the presence of the children

    14. Be sensitive to her needs, moods and fears. Be there for her.

    15. Encourage her always.

    16. Call her pet names. Let her know at every opportunity that you appreciate her.

    17. Seek to understand her more so you can love her more. Women are complex. Men should learn and keep learning.

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    I am a love being. I have what it takes to fulfill God’s commandment of loving her.

    Lord, teach me how to love my fiancee/wife that I may receive the blessing of marriage.

    Eph 5:22 KJV

    Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto

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    Psalm 89, 96, 100, 101, 105, 132

    Pastor Dunamis - +234 802 350 7395


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