The place of attraction in relationships and marriage

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    The scripture clearly identifies the importance of physical attraction when it comes to marriage. God in His wisdom knows that if a man does not derive satisfaction from his wife, he would seek it else where, which of course will not only be detrimental to him, but to his whole family.


    Have you noticed that when a man commits adultery, the whole family suffers the consequences?


    So, God advises the man:


    Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (Proverbs 5:18-21 KJV)


    In other words, what God wants is that you focus on your wife and not somebody out there. He said all your ways are before Him and He will inquire about everything you do. More or less, the affair that you think is secret is actually open to God.


    As a single, you don’t want to spiritualise everything and say attraction doesn’t matter! It matters a lot!


    Marry somebody you like and you love, a friend you can play with and laugh with. That is why the scripture says, “…rejoice with the wife of thy youth.“


    You also need to know that God will not force anybody on you. This idea that you are marrying somebody not because you love the person but because God said so is defective.


    As a lady, when a guy walks up to you and tells you that God has spoken to Him, you also need to hear God as well.


    The other day, a guy who is the president of his fellowship proposed to a lady within the fellowship this way:


    “Young lady, God has spoken to me. Thus saith the Spirit of God, you are my wife. I will like you to cooperate with God’s voice. You don’t need to pray again because God has spoken to me. It is wisdom to listen to God lest one is faced with His wrath.”


    That is nothing more than intimidation, manipulation and witchcraft!


    Now, we have established that physical attraction is very important! But there is a balance! Physical attraction alone is not the only thing that determines your choice! See the scripture:


    Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)


    Message Translation says:

    Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God. (Proverbs 31:30 Message)


    So we see here, the only thing shouldn’t be outward beauty, but also inner beauty. It is okay if she has hot legs, but her heart must also be hot for God! A hot leg without a hot heart will get your hands burnt at the end.


    So in man or in a woman, I should have attraction for him or her, while he or she must have attraction for God.


    This is very important!


    In conclusion, no lady should ever think she is not beautiful. There is nothing like that. You are beautiful and you should believe it. Have you not seen some of the most handsome men (in your opinion) get married to some of the most ugly ladies? (again, in your opinion) And then such men would say their wives are beautiful! You see, beauty is in the beholder’s eyes!


    When your husband sees you, regardless of how you think you look, he will love you and will tell you that you are beautiful. So, you can help yourself and your esteem by looking at the mirror daily and pointing to who you see there and say, “you are beautiful!”


    If some people have told you that you are ugly, it is okay. You are wonderfully and fearfully made, so says the scripture. That means you will be “wonderful” to some and you will be “fearful” to others. Certainly when your spouse sets eyes on you, you will be “wonderful!”


    So be patient and wait for the salvation of God in your marriage. If you are already married, stay focused on your spouse!


    May God help us all.


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