Words of Affirmation Versus Words of Criticism

  • In the dynamics of love language, your silence or inaction is a language!
    How do I mean? Love language has to do with something you say or do constantly.
    When you do these things, you are speaking that love language.
    Your partner or spouse hears something, and that is “I really love you!" or "I don't love you."
    When you are not speaking this language or you are inconsistent with it, you may want to think that your spouse hears nothing!
    But you are wrong!
    In its dynamics, really, you are also speaking a language when you say or do nothing!
    When you say nothing and do nothing, you are not really silent; you are also speaking a language. Click To Tweet
    It seems to me then, that it is possible the devil capitalizes on this to actually end promising relationships and marriages.
    A really bad stage is when you are not speaking the love language, you are not silent, and you are speaking the exact opposite of the love language.
    So when you are silent or inactive as regards love language, what are you saying? Here we go.
    From Words of Affirmation to Silence and then to Words of Criticism
    When you are silent, what are you saying?
    You are saying:
    I don’t really love you. If I love you, I will make sure I try to do exactly what you like and what pleases you.
    I prefer to hang out with friends and talk with them rather than be talking some sweet nonsense to you.
    When I come home, I come tired and I really take my work serious than you. That is why I spend all my energy at work and ensure I come home tired with nothing really to discuss with you!
    All these can be said without uttering a single word,
    After a while, your spouse to be or spouse is unhappy and unloved, she reacts and then there you go criticizing and using unpleasant words!
    “You are just sluggish.”
    “You are too demanding.”
    “You are so lazy.”
    “You are just very stupid.”
    “I don’t see how you will ever make it in life”
    “You are the most difficult person I have met in my life.”
    “I regret marrying you or being in a relationship with you!”
    “You are a thorn in my flesh!”
    “I am just coping with you. I should have married somebody else!”
    “Your parents didn’t train you well.”
    “I will soon end this relationship or I will soon divorce you.’
    These words become like arrows, driving a wedge between the relationship or marriage and if not dealt with can bring an end to a relationship or marriage.
    Proverbs 18:7 KJV
    A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.
    Pro 18:21 MSG
    Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit--you choose.
    Even if Jesus Christ appeared to you that a particular person is your spouse, if you flout these principles, it still will not work out!
    Sometimes, we think once God reveals your spouse to you, that is all that is required. Click To Tweet
    I beg to differ. It is your responsibility to work out the marriage through quick forgiveness, refusing to get bitter, learning your spouse’s love language and speaking it all the time.
    Is your fiancé/fiancée or spouse’s love language words of affirmation?
    Have you been having constant quarrels? Have you being having so many knotty issues that seemed unresolved?
    Are you thinking he or she is just too difficult a person? Well, check out if you have been critical.
    You see, when you are critical of a person whose primary love language is words of affirmation; that relationship will never work out! Read it again, it will never work out like it should!
    This is because after a while, assuming the wife’s love language is words of affirmation, she will close up her spirit and you can’t reach her again.
    You may still be married and even making love, but she is far away, disconnected and prayer life is hindered.
    When you look at the consequences of being silent or speaking opposite love language, then you will do all that lies with you to make sure you are speaking that language! That is how to make your spouse happy and fulfilled and in turn enjoy your relationship and marriage.
    Don’t be silent; silence is also a language!
    And when you start talking, don’t get critical; it is the opposite of what you are supposed to be doing!
    May the Lord grant more understanding.

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    I speak rightly

    Lord, fill my mouth with right words

    Pro 8:8 (KJV)  All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them.


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