May 29, 2016 2:09 PM CEST
Recently, I've been wondering if my singleness is my own fault. Yes...there are days (mostly at family gatherings) that my being single becomes glaring. Other days, it might be as a result of my grandmother and mother pestering me about marriage. I'm a bit ambitious and I've alwaya been afraid that marriage can get in the way of my goals. If am halfway there, a man that is a proper fit for me at that time will have an idea of where i see myself and it wouldn't be a case of "i married a creative writer just starting her masters and 5 years later she's a producer and wants to pursue a PhD...i feel cheated" (trust me, I've heard lots of tales like that)...
I have been lucky to have been pursued by some wonderful sons of Abraham...godly men...spiritually inclined brothers(some of them even more sound than i am). But every time i take 2 steps forward, i take like 10 backwards and then i log out completely. It's like i become encompassed by a fear so overwhelming it stunts my emotional growth.
Fastforward a few years and I'm starting to wonder if i should just take a leap of faith or if what i think is fear might be God's way of protecting from making mistakes because of my confused state!
Sigh...honestly, i don't know if I'm aching for a relationship because I'm being pestered or because i truly want one and think i am ready to be in one.
Recently, I've been wondering if my singleness is my own fault. Yes...there are days (mostly at family gatherings) that my being single becomes glaring. Other days, it might be as a result of my grandmother and mother pestering me about marriage. I'm a bit ambitious and I've alwaya been afraid that marriage can get in the way of my goals. If am halfway there, a man that is a proper fit for me at that time will have an idea of where i see myself and it wouldn't be a case of "i married a creative writer just starting her masters and 5 years later she's a producer and wants to pursue a PhD...i feel cheated" (trust me, I've heard lots of tales like that)...