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My husband never helps me at home
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My husband never helps me at home, despite knowing that my love language is Acts of Service. He would never lift a finger, He is of the opinion that a woman does everything at home. How should I handle this?
This post was edited by Pastor Dunamis Okunowo at March 5, 2015 6:37 AM CET -
I believe that in any relationship, communication is very essential. Have you communicated to your husband that your love language is Acts of Service? Do you know his own love language? Like I heard a man of God once said, "we will get enough of what we want if we will help enough other people get what they want". Same goes for your husband. It's easy for you to help him when you feel he needs help because that is your own love language. If your husband's love language is not Acts of Service, he might not be able to show love to you in that regard. Find out his love language ( if you haven't) and go the extra mile of going all out for him. That he does not help you with household chores doesn't mean he does not love you however. Like you said , he just sees some duties as a woman's palaver...it's in his mind and no amount of nagging can change anyone. Only the Holy Spirit can change that. Even a pastor of mine saw my husband following me to ante-natal as a big deal. Obviously , such a man won't follow his wife to the hospital for ante-natal except it's urgent. Well, that's not his own love language or maybe his wife's. So you see, it's different stokes for different folks. I've discovered over time that even the Holy Spirit can talk to ones spouse on ones behalf if you ask Him to. That's if that spouse is TOTALLY yielded to the Spirit of God though. Nothing is too small or too BiG to talk to God about. He can order your Hubby's steps to where he will hear about how helping your wife at home can boost love in his home. But while you are waiting for that, keep appreciating him for the little things he does for you like, praying for you and the kids, paying their school fees, providing money for the home upkeep, buying a car, etc. Don't forget to thank him she he does little things for you like washing the dishes (even if he washes it and you can see oil/left over food stuck in there), when he flushes the loo, thank him, when he rinses his cup after having a drink, thank him, when he lays the bed or dresses your kids, thank him. Than him even if he does it once a year. May God continue to help and strengthen our homes.