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THE PURPOSE & POWER OF LOVE & MARRIAGE: CHAPTER SIX

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    August 3, 2017 9:28 AM CEST
    CHAPTER SIX: Loosing the ties that bind

    One of the toughest challenges newlywed couples face in adjusting to married life is learning how to relate to their parents and families of origin in light of their new circumstances. Marriage brings about fundamental changes in the relationships that exist between a couple and the families in which they grew up. Many newlyweds have trouble losing the ties that bind them to their parents and to the lifestyle they knew as single adults. They often feel torn between their responsibility to their new spouse and their perceived responsibility to their parents. This tension creates conflict in the marriage, particularly when one partner finds it harder to let go than the other.
    Adjustments to married life can be just as difficult for the parents of newlyweds as for the couple themselves. Sometimes parents compound the problem by trying to hold onto their married children, at least emotionally. Whether consciously or subconsciously, many parents try to make their children feel guilty for trying to break away on their own. They struggle with the idea of their “baby” leaving the nest. If they have become emotionally or financially dependent on that child, they fear the changes that may come in that relationship because of the new person in their child’s life.

    Some points to note:
    1. The husband/wife relationship is the primary human relationship.

    2. The husband and wife relationship is foundational and the key to every other relationship in life.

    3. Leaving home is a fundamental principle of marriage.

    4. Companionship is the basis for all successful marriage.

    5. Companionship in marriage is more important than circumstances of blood or birth.

    6. Parents who are healthy and possess the means of supporting themselves should not become burdens to their children.
    Children, on the other hand, have the responsibility to provide for the welfare of parents who can no longer provide for themselves.

    7. At the beginning of a marriage, the couple should establish clear parameters for how their families will relate to each other.

    8. A husband’s top priority is to protect his wife and a wife’s, her husband. Together they are committed to protecting each other, preserving their marriage, and cultivating their companionship.