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I knew I would mess up with our house help
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Dear Pastor and KHCites, I need your advice. The very first day my wife brought in a househelp. I knew I would mess up with her. She is not as beautiful as my wife, but she is respectful with a smile always and that is what my wife doesnt have.
Everyday, I battle in my thought with lust towards this girl and she kept smiling. If we are alone for too long, I dont know what will happen.
I told my wife that we should let her go for now because I don't like her, (I just can't say the truth because I am a deacon) she refused. She doesnt seem to know what is going on. She is so naive.
How can I handle this? I am scared.
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Owe no man anything; but to love one another. For he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8. It is clear that the only thing you owe your wife is Love. It's in love that we find forgiveness, understanding, strength, help, peace etc. You said u can't tell her the truth because you are a deacon. That's wrong! Loving your wife is also a dimension of exhibiting God's love on earth so if u can talk to God and tell him the truth about things you've done, you should have the boldness to also talk to your wife. Tell her the truth about what you feel and God will supply you strength. Please read 1cor 10: 13. God's grace abounds and is always available. Reach out for it. Pastor Dunamis has really helped us here on the importance of 'Communication. Don't assume that your wife would not understand with you. -
Wisdom is needed here. I feel you should tell your wife that you would prefer just the both of you alone in the house alone so you can get more privacy. Telling your wife what you feel about your househelp may send some distrust from her to you. Nevertheless, tell it to God in prayer,the holyspirit will teach you what to do. -
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Please, tell your wife everything because the way a woman thinks is different from the way you think. If you keep telling her that 'you don't like her', she might be thinking that with time, you will. Let her know exactly what is going on in your mind, this is not the issue of being a deacon or not. Because you are a deacon doesn't mean, you don't have blood in your veins.
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Use your authority as a husband to send the maid away. Explain to your wife its for security reasons, chip it in that she is a little seductive. Try and work on yourself & your thots (lustful thots) because you cant keep sending all maids away. Be sexually satisfied by your wife.