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Selfishness, Five Prayer Arsenal To Deploy Part 2

Good morning! I will continue from where I stopped yesterday. We started looking at five prayer points every couple should pray and we looked at two yesterday.
3. Take selfishness away from my heart
 
This is another prayer every couple should pray. Selfishness simply means not taking your spouse into consideration. In what ways can couples be selfish? Let me mention a few.
 


Gal 5:17  

For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with SELFISHNESS. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day.
 
a. Selfishness in communication
 
You communicate with the whole world except your spouse. That is wrong.
 
You simply forget to chat up your spouse! You don’t even remember. If it is the fact that you hardly chat or call people, it can be understood. But when you virtually live on Whats App, or Messenger, chatting up the whole world, except your spouse, don’t you think something is wrong somewhere? 


 
By all means, you need to change that attitude! Let your spouse be your number 1 fan! On your phone, the greatest chats should be towards your spouse, not some old friend or some family members.
 
Oh, Pastor, we see everyday! It doesn’t really matter. Protect your marriage, give it all it takes. Until you have given it all it takes and make some attitude adjustments, that is when you can really say you have tried.
 


b. Selfishness in shopping
 


When you go on shopping, do you just buy your stuffs while you completely forget about your spouse? That is not really fair!


 
Even if the shopping is meant for you, ensure that you still get something for your spouse. This is how to keep the fire burning.

 
Dear husbands, don’t buy all the gadgets without buying some lady items. Dear wife, don’t but all the powders and make-up kits without buying some guy’s stuffs! Be wise. 

 
c. Selfishness in commitment
 
How committed are you in the marriage? Is apology always one sided? Do you care about ending a disagreement or you always wait for your spouse to say sorry even if it would take a year, you really do not care?
 
Are you really committed about the marriage or you are committed to your ego? Are you committed to making it work, or you are committed to making your spouse bow?
 
Who apologizes all the time? That is the most matured! Take it or leave it, that is the truth. Saying “sorry” is maturity,.
 
Refusing to say “sorry” whether you are wrong or right is a form of rebellion, and it is not wise to sow rebellion into your own home.
 
The spouse who is committed to the marriage has no problem offering a GENUINE apology. He or she is just not comfortable when you are apart.
 
Anytime you are comfortable when there is an issue, when you are okay with some underlying problems, without an effort to end an issue, you need to check your heart and pray more.

 
d. Selfishness in raising the children


 
There can be selfishness in raising the children. You have never been to your children’s school. You don’t even know which classes they are. You don’t know who bathes for them, or how they eat. You are always buried in whatever you are doing. This is a definition of selfishness, however you want to look at it. It is even more intense when both of you are building a career, and you are bot busy.
 
Raising the children should be a joint effort, so that you can have emotionally balanced children. Now, you don’t need to go and accuse your spouse over this, I am only pointing us out to what we need to pray about.

 
e. Selfishness in outings


 
You go out with colleagues, go out with friends, go out with the whole world except your spouse! Hey, that is extremely wrong! You need to pray against such selfish attitudes and then take action to make adjustments. 

 
f. Selfishness in cooking


 
Is this possible? Yes, the husband insists all the time that his best food must be on the table for everybody. It is really unfair when his best food is beans!
 
Or the wife cooks only what she likes and does not take into consideration the preferences of others!
 
It is also selfishness when the wife refuses to cook or make provision for meals by saying “I thought nobody is hungry!” 

 
It is selfishness when the husband never helps out in the kitchen, especially when there are no house-helps. Nothing is wrong with the husband helping out to cook sometimes or helping out with the dishes. Leaving her to sweat it out all by herself while you are watching football or listening to news is another level of selfishness.
 
g. Selfishness in prayers
 
A couple can be selfish in the place of prayer when all her prayer points are about himself or herself. He or she simply forgets to pray for the spouse!
 
In this case, it is what is in the heart that is being played out. Your greatest prayers should be directed to your spouse in love. Pray for one another’s career business, desires, aspirations and dreams. Be wise!
 

h. Selfishness in family relationships
 


When there is selfishness in family relationships, either spouse would only get in touch, call, text, chat, with parents and siblings.
 
Relationship with spouses’ family is zero! Hey, this is selfishness raised to power hundred! 

You need to understand what the Bible says about marriage. You leave your parents and cleave with your spouse! This does not mean you will not get in touch with them, but it does mean that your relationship must not be lopsided in favor of your own parents and siblings!
 
Pray against such selfishness!
 
J. Selfishness in cheerfulness


 
Here, you are cheerful with everybody, you make the whole world laugh, you are the office comedian but at home, you are as cold as frozen fish! Not fair!
 
Your spouse cracks a joke and you look at him or her with disdain and disgust as if he just uttered some stupidity. Another person cracks a less funny joke and you are reeling with laughter, with tears coming out of the corner of your eyes. It is called selfishness. If you are like that, you need a change of heart and some prayers too.
 
If your wife cracks a joke, whether it is funny or not, just laugh! If you call her joke stupid, then you are the husband of the stupid woman! Whatever you are doing to her is what you are doing too yourself. You are joined together.
 
If he or she cracks a joke, just laugh, even if the joke is boring. Laugh. Be the number one fan of one another. This is how to keep marriage going. There are many examples, but I will like to stop here.
 
Be blessed!


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CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will not be selfish
 
PRAYER FOR THE DAY

Lord, I receive fresh grace to be selfless

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 

Gal 6:9  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Ask yourself, how healthy are you emotionally

READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 
Genesis 16 - 18

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This Piece Is Authored By

Pastor Dunamis Okunowo

Dunamis & Sophia are facilitators of Kisses and Huggs Club. They are ministers, writers, conference speakers, relationship counselors and marriage...

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