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How To Know If Your Lover Really Loves You - Part 2

Continued from yesterday

2. He will woo you and wait for you
The man who truly loves you will woo you, come after you, pamper you with love and attention. He will come with flowers and with poems and all that. But that alone does not really show love.
How do you mean, Pastor?
A man can woo you for the wrong reasons. A man can even go ahead and buy you car and yet doesn't love you. He could still buy the same car for any other person who can give him what he wants from you.
Those rich politicians that would sleep with girls of easy virtue and part with half a million Naira, they don't really love the girls! They see them as jeru trap objects! No more!

His money buys him jeru trap from the girls, and he uses his money to control and dictate for the unfortunate girl.

So, wooing alone does not translate to love. Amnon was terribly in love, or so he thought. He couldn’t eat properly because he was in “love” with Tamar. But he ended up raping Tamar! That couldn't be love, because he suddenly hated her after he got what he wanted!
Beyond the wooing he will be willing to wait for you. He would not be insisting on jeru trap!

Wooing without waiting shows the motive of his professed love, it is all for jeru trap, not any future commitment.
Beware of a guy who is asking for jeru trap as soon as you start talking. His idea of love is like deep gashes of a knife in a confused soul. He has no clue.
Waiting shows maturity. Waiting shows commitments. Immediate gratification shows the picture of an undisciplined man. After marriage, he still wouldn't be able to wait. If you are not around, he would pounce on your sister or house-help!

You see, the first order of things for a man is to understand what this love is.
The sad things is that we have a lot of men who grew up in an environment where they didn't see love. If they never saw love, how would they understand it?
A boy that grows up seeing his mother abused in the hands of his father would first of all resent his dad and would promise himself that he would never do such a thing.
Then he gets married only to find out he has taken the abuse to another level. His father used to slap his mum, but now he would not only slap his wife but would kick and rain thunderous blows!
What happened? He hated this when he saw his dad doing it. How come he is entangled and trapped within the same thing he hated and despised?
You see, you will always grow up to replicate what you see in your parents. You always find yourself doing what you condemned your parents for doing. It is called transference of spirits. The victim ends up victimising others.
The only thing that can stop this lineage disorder and this generational dysfunction is God. And that takes us back to the first point.
Knowing God is a must for the man you will get married to! Not only that, you too have to know God.
This is also the solution for troubled marriages. Pray for him or her to get to know God! Knowing God and attending church services are two different things, though!
When a man knows God, he has just allowed one of the greatest miracle in his life which is renewal of the mind! He changes over time as he gets to know God more!
This is what can put a stop to such situations where the father eats a sour grape and teeth of the son is set on edge!

I will continue with this topic tomorrow. Hope you are getting blessed?
I pray that God will lead and guide you and be your shepherd indeed as you make decisions that has to do with marriage and family!

I am led by the Spirit of God

Lord, teach me in the way to go and guide my feet into your plans

"No one who abides in Him [ who lives and remains in communion with and in obedience to Him—deliberately, knowingly, and habitually ] commits (practices) sin. No one who [ habitually ] sins has either seen or known Him [ recognized, perceived, or understood Him, or has had an experiential acquaintance with Him ]." (1Jn 3:6, AMP)


Read 1 Cor 13
2 Kings 14; 2 Chronicles 25

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This Piece Is Authored By

Pastor Dunamis Okunowo

Dunamis & Sophia are facilitators of Kisses and Huggs Club. They are ministers, writers, conference speakers, relationship counselors and marriage...

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