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The Will of God Versus The Day My Wife And I Broke Up Our Courtship

I will like to narrate our experience during our courtship to help clarify and put into perspective the issues around God’s will.
Honestly, I can’t remember what caused the altercation between us that day, but I was angry and she was angry. So, nobody was going to apologise to the other, so we ended the relationship. But I do remember that most of our disagreements then erupted from the basic differences we had. We were both believers and we had same doctrinal beliefs, but we thought differently, we had different approaches to issues; she was soft on the surface but very resolute within. I was hard on surface and fast mouthed, but soft within, and I felt showing that softness was a weakness, so I was overly strict with everything.
I do remember it was outside the church office where I was serving as a young pastor. I had just redeployed from Delta State back to Olabisi Onabanjo University to resume a full time ministry. Both of were leaning on the balcony outside that church office. She was in the final year then, and her school hall was just some minute’s walk away from the office.
So she left for her hall. I went back to the church office.
But as soon as she left, I lost my peace. Peace eluded me, and I knew I was making the greatest mistake of my life. In a jiffy, my mind travelled back to the day I first met her and I knew she would be my wife. In a moment of time, all the dreams and visions I had passed before me like a movie. But I ignored them and tired to sleep off. But I could not sleep. My mind was unsettled and I knew I had to go and apologise. So I swallowed my pride and went to her hall, and we talked and we both apologised to each other.
She later told me she lost her peace as well, and that when she left she just trekked on endlessly past her hall and then trekked back home…and all that.
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. (Romans 8:14 KJV)
Now, the lessons:
1. God speaks and leads in the choice of who to marry. He will lead by His Spirit if you are allow Him to lead you and you yield to him.
2. He speaks in divers ways. He could speak to you through dreams, visions, knowing, inner witness or some other spectacular guidance.
3. It is one thing for God to lead you; it is another thing for you to allow to be led.
4. Much of what we call God’s direction these days is just emotionalism.
5. When you are truly led of God, and there is conviction, it is mostly difficult to break up, and you will easily settle your scores because you really want to follow God
6. If it is of God, and you break up from a relationship, you will lose your peace. That peace is an indication of His will for you.
7. If a relationship is God’s will or God’s plan, and one party says he or she is not interested, you are free to move on with your life and God will create opportunities for new relationships.
8. There is nothing like one specific man to one specific woman, or else, the whole world would be in unimaginable chaos.
9. Be humble and apologise quickly so that you will not miss the best that God has for you because of stubbornness and foolishness.
10. Jeru trip alters the equation of God’s plan for your life. The relationship can break up despite that it is of God, when you compromise, because the soul enters into confusion when you indulge in a habitual, unrepentant sexual sin.
11. When there has been Jeru trip before marriage, there would be a soul tie. An illegal bonding on the soulical realm. This soul tie makes it difficult to know what God is saying and what He is not saying.
12. That you are in God’s will or plan for your life does not eliminate issues and challenges. You have to work at relationships to make it lead to marriage by praying, staying in the word, forgiving easily and so on. Even after marriage, you still have to keep on working at it.
13. If you are involved with more than one person at a time and you are dating them at the same time, something is amiss. God cannot lead you to more than one person at a time. Check your motive and be truthful about why you are holding on to more than one person at a time. I have always said this that double dating is rehearsal for adultery. It takes the same state of heart to cheat, and that lifestyle is inconsistent with who a child of God should be.
14. For those who are married, if you are thinking you are hooked to the wrong person, the thing to do is not to back out but to call upon God to help you and turn very mistake into miracles. The only times you may start considering divorce are times when there is unrepentant adulterous lifestyle wherein STDs can be brought home and or physical violence when your life is no longer safe with the one you call husband or wife.
15. Finally, staying constantly spiritual and getting involved in the things of the spirit helps you to easily locate God’s plan for your life. When you are busy serving God, God will get busy for you to ensure that your marriage works out beautifully.
16. God is interested in your relationship and marriage. Don’t leave him out of it. And if you feel you have blundered, get back to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need.
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16 KJV)

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I am obedient to God's will. I will not miss it.


Pray that God give you direction in this area.


For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
(Romans 8:14 KJV)


Pray and ask God to speak to you 


Matthew 27; Mark 15

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This Piece Is Authored By

Pastor Dunamis Okunowo

Dunamis & Sophia are facilitators of Kisses and Huggs Club. They are ministers, writers, conference speakers, relationship counselors and marriage...

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