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When King Solomon Became The Marriage Counselor

When Solomon is talking about marriage, it would be wise to listen. For one he was the wisest person to live on earth before Jesus, and much more than that, you will never be able to break his record in knowing about women.

Solomon married women from every part of the earth. With seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines, he was not just the king of Israel, but the king of women. 

Of course, his acquisition of wives was against the Mosaic law, and at the end of his life, these women turned his heart away from God.

Here are some words of advice from Solomon
1. Look for character, not outward beauty alone

"A virtuous and worthy wife [ earnest and strong in character ] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. (Pro 12:4, AMP)
The advice here is to make the right choice because you will eventually live with your choice.

When your wife becomes a crowning joy as a result of strong character, you will go further in life as against a wife who is rottenness in the bones.
Rottenness in the bones immobilises you! With the wrong spouse, you will never be able to reach your utmost potentials. You will simply operate below capacity.

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So before you consider hot legs alone, check if the heart is hot for God as well. Hot legs without a hot heart for God will get you burnt, in this life and probably in the next. 

But if you can get hot legs plus hot heart, all well and good for you!

Before you consider six packs alone, does he also have a knack for the things of God and the things of the Spirit? He may be able to speak phonetics but phonetics will not drive demons away in the days of affliction. Beyond speaking phonetics, he should speak in tongues as well.
What else did Solomon say?
2. Beauty and Intelligence are two different things

"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful face on an empty head." (Pro 11:22, MSG)
Here, we see clearly, that a beautiful face can sit on an empty head. A handsome face can comfortably adorn a man with stupid ideas.

The idea is that you don’t fall in love anyhow based on the appearance alone. At the end of the day, you will see that marriage is deeper than the complexion or the white teeth or the long fingers.
This is why the scripture also says:
"Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [ because it is not lasting ], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!" (Pro 31:30, AMP)
3. You can only get a good and the right spouse for you through the help of God

"House and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but a wise, understanding, and prudent wife is from the Lord. [ Pro 18:22 ]"
There are women and there are girls. There are men and there are boys. But only one is meant for you. How do you choose? How do you know the right person?

Taking into consideration the complexity of your person, your attitudes, your behavioural tendencies, your disposition, your love language, your outlook to life, your background, your opinionated conclusions, your lifestyle, and so much more, who is that one man or lady that will complement you in marriage and be a “help” or “head” to you and not a “hell’?

Well, you will need God. God who made you and fashioned and knew you before your dad met your mum, God that knows your inward entrails and knows you in and out will lead you to the right person.
That is why in your choice of who to marry, it is good, to seek the face of God and know His leading, and then follow through. That way, the frictions in marriage will be minimised to the barest minimum, if both parties stay prayerful to God.

What if you are already married? In the same way, you will need God to keep your marriage going. The wisdom to rule in marital matters lies with God.
4. Being unnecessarily argumentative, contentious and stubborn will negatively impact a marriage

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." (Pro 21:9, KJV)
Marriage is about adjustments, not from the woman alone, but from both sides. Being rigid or insisting on your own opinion will drive you apart. Learn to be flexible, and don't allow excessive ego to come in-between you.

There is a way you can converse and express differential opinions without it turning to hot arguments which can nosedive into strife and acrimony within the home.
That eventually hinders your payers and slows you down generally. Be wise!

5. Do not marry a man with visible and uncontrollable anger
"Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:" (Pro 22:24, KJV)

It is one thing to get angry once in a while. Everybody gets angry once in while including me, pastors, popes and archbishops!

But it is a different ball game when a person has anger problems that seem uncontrollable. When you are dating such a person, he would have beaten you up once or twice or slapped you!
Then he comes to apologise, only to repeat the same the following week.
Now, when you are already being “gifted” with slaps before marriage, what do you think it is going to be like in marriage? It is always good to “shine your eyes!”

Marriage changes nobody, you are who you are, marriage or no marriage.

The real reason you are not able to leave an abusive relationship is because of a confused soul.
When pre-marital sex is involved, the soul enters into confusion because God’s principles have been violated.
Again, pre-marital sex brings about soul ties and unhealthy bonding, which keeps you glued to a person you know you are not meant to be with.
At that stage, you will need God’s power to break such soul ties and free yourself from an obvious decision that you know will nail you but from which you cannot disengage!

I am going to stop here this morning. I pray for you that God will open the eyes of your understanding more and indeed teach in the way to go!

I am wise. I will not make foolish decisions.
Pray that God will lead you in the way to go.

"Don't hang out with angry people; don't keep company with hotheads." (Pro 22:24, MSG)

Pray in the Spirit
2 Chronicles 19-23

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This Piece Is Authored By

Pastor Dunamis Okunowo

Dunamis & Sophia are facilitators of Kisses and Huggs Club. They are ministers, writers, conference speakers, relationship counselors and marriage...

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