Forums » "Musings" with Ola Kris

Wedding - Weightier Matters

    • Moderator
    • 6 posts
    June 11, 2015 7:55 AM CEST
    Wedding days are spectacular moments. It is God's gift to mankind. Those who love marriage are wise. From the costumes to the blings, the make ups, the venues and the decorations; every aspect is mostly exaggerated, and rightly so. I mean, just who plans to have another wedding? It is therefore understandable when we put in much efforts into making it magnificent. Although these accomplishments have nothing to do with a successful union, it would be nice to have if they are within financial reach. But it is also foolish to overkill in a ceremony that can take place without exaggerated fanfares or fire crackers. We should put our hearts on weightier matters.

    Well, the spectacles of grand weddings begin to erode immediately after the ceremonies and reception, innit? For starters, the little bride begins to feel sleepy or wants to go out and play in the sand. What do you expect? She is just four years old for crying out loud, yet she is laden with responsibilities way beyond her pay grade! She even begins to feel that her tiara is way too heavy a cross. Lol. “Wetin sef, na me be bride?” She wonders.Then the little ring bearer wants strawberry ice cream, especially since he has played his part well not to have lost the rings during performance! But whether it’s a diamond studded ring or the cheap ones across the road, it makes no difference. Ring na ring!

    No one really cares to know the prices of wedding rings at weddings; these have nothing to do with a successful home. Besides, everyone came to see and hear two people commit to themselves under the supervision of a priest. Ordinarily, this ceremony can be done with no rings! Yet many yet-to-be-couples will break a jaw to score an “A+” on wedding rings. But then, promises are not kept with rings; they are kept in the heart. May we not ignore weightier matters of the heart!

    Now take this; from the gowns, tiaras, shoes and rings, brides seem to always get more attention at weddings and we must suffer it to be so. Grooms must simply learn to not compete and stay satisfied with their boring roles. Lol. I mean, who really cares if a groom polishes his nails or not; who sees a groom’s nails? Not me o! Wey person no be homo. I focus on the chick. But you see, women and wedding gowns are a type of the glorious Church when Christ returns.

    That day, The Church will be the bride. So rather than envy women in wedding gowns, simply start getting used to the sight. See it as rehearsals for the day when the groom shall be Christ and every saint, male and female, shall be the Bride. Every saved dude will wear The Gown that day! But seriously, the gown simply signifies the righteousness of Christ with which we shall be clothed and win our entry into paradise. Let us, therefore, be mindful of the second coming of Christ, an occasion which weddings ought to remind us of. If you miss heaven, you can’t miss hell, really! Please fix your heart on weightier matters.

    Yeah, back to my drift. So, her royal highness, the Bride, begins to feel not-so comfortable anymore in her uniform, sorry, wedding gown. What’s the colour again? White, cream, yellow, red or even black sef! Ah! Yes, a time was when it was the fad to wear white gowns to portray virginity of brides. White gown equals virginity? Orishirishi; as if doctors checked hymens to be certain such claims were true. Oshisco! I wonder who started that nonsense.

    Come to think of it, denominations even ask for preg tests today before joining couples. Duh! That’s easy; condoms will make sure preg tests remain negative after uncountable in and outs. Arrant religion! I beg teach people to live right and stop laying down rules. Stop taking us back to the Old Testaments. We will always beat the rules…under your nose, preacher. But then, these were actual pointers to weightier matters. May we be mindful of weightier matters of the heart.

    Okay now, seriously, who wears a wedding gown beyond one day, even far less than a day? Even if it was the most expensive wedding gown, at least one is compelled to remove costumes after a performance. The show is over. Reality sets in. And come to think of it, weddings would take place with or without gowns.

    The virginity test was really to signify that believers were in covenant only with Christ. So, babes, next time when you purchase or rent your gown please remember to stay a virgin of Christ. And keep your body away from that groom-dude. Tell him to wait o. May we fix our hearts on weightier matters!

    Now, if you over priced your wedding and got stuffs on credit, then it is possible your creditors begin to remind you of your agreement to settle bills immediately after wedding. That was your undertaking, my friend. Hello? And “immediately” means “now” o! God help you if your creditors are either Ijebu or Igbo indigenes of Nigeria (no insults intended, rather it suggests that these people are most pragmatic in their business dealings).

    Creditors sometimes attend these weddings or have reps who bear witness that the couple was sprayed money as they danced. Lol. For your info, we Nigerians without apologies would literally shower money on people we love in sincere affection and we won’t stop ever; even the CIA knows that. That's who we are sir. We are givers and we care less about who is not amused by our generosity.

    We work hard and give harder, ask our pastors; although, sometimes one can’t resist the temptation to think that pastors today focus more on our monies than our souls. Just saying o! Anyway, we Nigerians will always give to fund God’s kingdom, so our preachers too must fix their hearts on weightier matters. Abi?

    Back to creditors or their agents. Were they not even counting the notes by denominations as they hit the heads of the couple or the vessel placed before them? “I beg make una do quick give me my money o” continues to ring in the minds of observing creditors. Funny enough I really think I missed that part at my wedding, though. I missed the monies. I was so conscious of satanic agents with evil intentions and missed recognition of angelic attendance.

    I over rated satan ni jorr. Don’t we, sometimes? It’s safe here to advice that ALL power belongs to God except the one Christians hand to satan through fear or ignorance. Truth is, not everyone is evil. Some people would rather spray money publicly than give you in secret. Since the former method inflates the ego, couples should really dance to make money from those who like to publicly show love. Lol. Even me I like to show off too o. Na God go help me sef! I really need to concentrate on weightier matters myself o.

    Now after the whole show and everyone has left to attend to more important and pressing personal issues (lol), the groom may begin to feel trapped in this occasional wardrobe; especially that not a single guest confirmed the fact that his suit was top range from Harrolds. Sorry groom, people are blind! Uneasy now lies on the body that wears the suit.

    His best-man and chief brides-made have both taken off. They also have lives to live. Besides what else would they hang around for? Witnesses are not part of the eating of the forbidden apple. Whoever even said it was apple that Adam ate! Or was it guava? I would rather it was agbalumo (a typical Nigerian sour-sweet fruit). Whatever! Lol. Let us all focus on weightier matters.

    Now, trust me, even at honeymoon creditors’ unrelenting calls keep seeking the couple’s attention. Put off the phone? Bad option! You might just miss out on callers who missed the ceremony and needed to know the name to put on your cheque-gifts or account details for electronic transfers. Lines must be opened. Opening the “lines” of our hearts is the weightier matter we must all focus on. God speaks to us every time. But are we hearing all the time! Hearing and obeying; na them be the weighty matter.

    As Wendy and I planned for our wedding 18 years ago, we were conscious to focus on weightier matters. Friends were very major to the success. We didn’t have money but we had great friends. We called them MORE THAN FRIENDS. They really were!

    Today, I and Wendy want to say thanks to several people who were part of our wedding 19 years ago. And those who entered our lives thereafter. It’s really not that we have been great a great couple, the truth is that you have been great supporters. You all have been huge blessings. Your supports are very immeasurable. Adupe o o o o!!!!

    The Bride & Groom of 1996

  • June 11, 2015 10:52 AM CEST
    Wow! This is great8 God will continues to hold your union till the end.
    • 5 posts
    June 11, 2015 11:12 AM CEST

    WEDDING WEIGHTIER MATTERS,Thank you MAN of GOD,this is really comprehensive enough for everyone that want to hear what the Spirit is saying to the church,Its very Wonderful......God bless u real good,i read all,mediate and digest all,though there are funny aspect of it like the creditors,ijebu or igbo,the forbidden fruit( apple whether,guave,or agbalumo).....

  • June 11, 2015 7:13 PM CEST
    I really appreciate your article, it is very thought provoking and a blessing to me.
    One can feel your message with a 'pang truth' in one's heart but then at a moment you relieve one from thar feeling of 'guilt of self condemnation' with some 'home truth jokes' which made the article very challenging to a reader like me as to continue reading through to consume and retain the message there in.
    Helas! Most of the points raised were the things the church should be teaching...and probably the couple getting married should be very prayerful during and well after the ceremony
    Finally, I like the fact that after many years of your marriage you still remember to appreciate your friends during preparation,... & well after the ceremony. You thought me a lesson from that point of view.
    I pray that our God should bless and guide you, may he continue to shower you with more wisdom so that we can Learn more from you. May HE keep you and make his face to shine on you now and always. IJN
  • June 11, 2015 11:37 PM CEST
    Wow!!! Very insightful Article....have learnt so much now I know the important of keeping the line opEned b'cos that is the Only way to receive more from God. Thanks to my EVer knowledgeable Baba. I Celebrate you Sir!
    • 4 posts
    June 13, 2015 3:26 PM CEST
    I love this piece and the way it was delivered. Thanks Sir for this.
    This post was edited by Ann Oluwakemi at June 13, 2015 3:28 PM CEST